If your little one often worries, tends to be sad or scared or lacks confidence in trying new things, they might suffer from anxiety. Find out what anxiety is and how it looks in children. Learn what problems it may cause and how you can help your child if they have anxiety.
Disclaimer: The content of this blog does not provide medical advice and is for informational purposes only. The information provided here should not be used as a substitute for the advice provided by a qualified healthcare professional.
It doesn’t feel nice to see your little one sad or scared. It might be frustrating if you don’t know how to help them.
We all want to see our children happy and enjoying their lives. Sometimes, however, it feels like a dark cloud over them, and no matter how much you want to cheer them up or distract them, they remain sad.
In my post, you will learn what amount of stress and sadness can be considered anxiety. I will tell you about the symptoms of anxiety and how it affects your child.
Before I tell you how you can support your child, you will be able to learn about anxiety and autism and ADHD.
What is anxiety?
Children might be sad sometimes. They might be worried, stressed, fearful, or insecure.
This is common in children. The world that they still don’t understand well might be scary for them.
It is normal if they feel like that from time to time.
It may even be a part of their development- babies and toddlers often have separation anxiety.
Sometimes a traumatic event or a change might cause anxiety. Moving house or school or birth of a sibling might cause worrying.
However, if worrying and sadness persist and get in the way of everyday life and routines, then the anxiety should be addressed.
Anxiety is a mental health problem if it affects your child’s life.
Symptoms of anxiety
Being worried or afraid often
Lack of confidence when facing new things
Panic attacks (heart rate increased, dizzy, sweaty, trouble breathing)
Being Tearful
Having negative thoughts often
Being irritable, having angry outbursts
Avoiding everyday activities
Problems with sleeping
Lack of appetite
Tummy aches and not feeling well
Going to the toilet often
Bedwetting
Overthinking and ruminating
Seeking constant reassurance
How does anxiety affect your child?
Anxiety affects your child’s:
Mood
Family life and school
Development
Health – high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) can affect the immune system
Self-esteem and confidence
Wellbeing
It may cause:
Withdrawing from activities and routines and not enjoying fun things
Struggling to relax
May lead to depression
Anxiety and Autism
People with autism often experience anxiety. Many different sources of information are available, but they are all consistent: research shows that anxiety is common for autistic people.
Anxiety in people on the ASD spectrum might be caused by demanding social expectations and difficulty navigating them.
Another source of anxiety for autistic people is a lack of understanding and acceptance by non-autistic people. They often try to mask and camouflage, trying to fit in and not be seen as “different”. This constant pressure might affect their mental health.
Autistic people very often experience difficulties in sensory processing (see my post about sensory processing here), which might cause constant stress and lead to anxiety.
What’s more, people with autism find changes and disruptions to their routines challenging, leading to anxiety.
Another source of constant stress resulting in anxiety might be that people with ASD sometimes find understanding and managing emotions tricky.
Anxiety and ADHD
Research has shown that people with ADHD often experience anxiety.
ADHD might cause problems with functioning in daily life.
Some researchers think that the anxiety that people with ADHD experience may be caused by those problems with functioning in daily life.
They think it might be different from the anxiety caused by fears and phobias.
Some evidence shows that generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and ADHD often occur together.
Some researchers also have suggested that ADHD combined with anxiety might be regarded as a separate ADHD subtype.
When someone experiences anxiety while having ADHD, it may make some of the ADHD symptoms worse. It might affect their restlessness and concentration.
What can you do to help:
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Talking
It is best to start by discussing problems and fears your child might be experiencing.
Sometimes listening to them and acknowledging their fears might help.
Explaining to them that it is normal to worry and be afraid might be a good start.
And simply listening to them will reassure them that you are there for them.
Books
For older children (at least the ones who can read), it might be a good idea to read about anxiety and worries and how to deal with them.
There are stories, workbooks, or fact books (like this one here or here) that you can read to your child, or they can read themselves to understand how they feel.
Lavender oil
Lavender oil is excellent for creating a calm environment for your child’s anxiety.
You may use it in a pillow spray (dilute a few drops in water in a spray bottle) to spray on your child’s pillow before bedtime.
You may add a few drops to their bath, clothes, or soft toys.
I use this brand of lavender oil.
Epsom salt
If your child has anxiety, Epsom Salt can help.
Magnesium sulphate (called Epsom salt because it was first discovered in Epsom in England) added to a bath can have a calming and relaxing effect.
Magnesium deficiency may make anxiety worse. This transdermal (through the skin) intake may help to balance magnesium levels, although there is no firm scientific evidence it does.
I discovered it when looking for home remedies for anxiety for my child, and since then, we have used it once a week in a bath or more often if my kiddo is stressed.
I use this brand of Epsom salt.
Foods for Anxiety
Some sources show that food rich in antioxidants might help reduce anxiety.
Fruit like blackberries, strawberries, and blueberries might be a good source, as well as different vegetables and nuts.
Also, some herbal teas, like chamomile, might have calming effects.
Dark chocolate is rich in magnesium which might be beneficial in trying to reduce anxiety. Leafy greens contain reasonable amounts of magnesium too.
Eggs are also great, especially egg yolks because they contain zinc, which may help reduce anxiety.
Fatty fish like salmon may improve anxiety in some people.
Also, foods rich in vitamin B are known to help. You can find it in Avocados and Almonds.
It is also essential to mention that you should avoid foods and products that are not good for your child. They are processed foods (fast food, crisps, etc.), sweets, or sugary drinks. They might make anxiety worse.
Music
Music can have therapeutic and calming effects.
There are tons of playlists on YouTube with music that helps with anxiety.
You can play it at bedtime or in the background of daily life activities to bring some calmness to your child’s life.
Supplements
There are lots of supplements on the market that claim to help with anxiety.
I give my children magnesium and vitamin B supplements daily together with Omega3 chewies.
I had also tried L-theanine supplements and gave them to my children during periods when they were experiencing stress.
It is always good to do your research first and consult your paediatrician.
Grounding Techniques
These are simple activities that will help in navigating through a stressful experience.
They can be physical (done using your senses) or mental (done by thinking about something).
My favourite one is 5-4-3-2-1. Tell your child to notice five things they SEE around them, four things they can TOUCH, three things they can HEAR, two things they can SMELL and one thing they can TASTE.
Another one might be putting hands in water, having a drink of water or going on a short walk.
Calming Activities
Deep and slow breathing is the classic one, and it always helps.
Progressive muscle relaxation is the activity my children often do when they are in bed, anxious, and unable to sleep.
I tell them to lie down with their eyes closed and try to “feel” every part of their body without touching it or moving.
They start from their head and work their way down.
They never make it to their feet because they are asleep by the time they reach them.
Worry Bags (Jars or Boxes or Dolls)
Tell your child to write their worries on small pieces of paper and put them in a bag, box, or jar that will “trap” their worries.
Writing itself might help as it helps to externalize the problems and get them out on the surface, rather than having them inside your child’s head where they are internalizing them.
Preparing them in advance
If you know that a change is coming or maybe something distressing that your child is about to face, try to talk to them about it.
Tell them what to expect, break it down into small chunks and explain what will happen and what it involves.
That might prevent them from worrying.
If they know what to expect exactly, the anxiety is less likely to creep on them.
Stick to Routine
Very often, changes in routines might cause distress, so, when possible, stick to routines and give your child a heads up if it is likely to change.
CBT
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that analyses negative thinking patterns and helps change them.
You may want to look for help from a specialist, but you may as well start it yourself by, for example, helping your child practice gratitude and noticing positive things in life.
I love this website and often use their free resources.
Counselling
Finally, you may want to use the professional services of a counsellor or a psychologist who might be trained in dealing with anxiety and can help your child overcome it.
Finding a private provider might be an option if you can afford it, or start by contacting your regular doctor and asking for a referral.
I hope you found this information helpful. If you know any ways of dealing with anxiety in children that I haven’t mentioned, let me know in the comments.
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